Thank You and Good-bye

     Thank you for your interest in and response to this blog.  This is the last post in this blog.

     My first blog post was December 11, 2006.  I have included posts on interim ministry, leadership, and other topics.  Many of you have been kind to read and respond to these writings.

     I plan to start a new blog in January:  New Shepherds Orientation.  It will be designed to provide information, inspiration, and appreciation to those men and their families who serve as shepherds (elders, bishops, overseers) of the Lord's church.

     It has been my privilege to lead New Shepherd Orientation Workshops with congregations.  I have learned much in preparing and leading these times of concentrated work on being more effective in being great leaders by being great servants.

     Two blog posts a month will include some of the following topics:

• Majority or minority rule?  How many votes do you give to each elder?
• Setting goals
• Non-suicide contract
• Elders appreciation parties
• Shepherds who leave when the wolf comes don’t care — Jesus
• How to hear criticism
• For pain to be most productive, it should be anticipated, chosen, and managed
• When most people hurt me, I gave them permission
• Contracts - why, written, items, reviewed?
• Elder rules
• Elder operating procedures:  non-negotiable, negotiable
• Counseling for me 
• Are death wishes the best way to solve leadership problems?
• How to get rid of a bad elder
• Questions to learn more about your family.
• How do you want the church to be? — Be that!
• Grass catcher list
• Elders’s meetings
• Discussion before decisions
• Elder-preacher relationships
• Family meetings
• A leader is a non-anxious presence.
• Funerals and parties
• Processing anger
• Who selects leaders?
• How to select leaders
• Planning a preacher’s (elder’s) departure
• Elder agreements
• 48-hour rule
• Anonymous letters
• Counseling, referral, followup
• Suicide, 3 questions, contract.
• Delegation steps
• Criticism
• Listening until the other person gets through talking
• Sabbath - day a week
• Isolation
• Sabbatical
• Good leaders may not be the first to speak 
• Are you allowing your last preacher to control your next preacher?
• How to deliver bad news — death 
• How to deliver bad news — termination, reduction in pay
• Should we let our preacher preach after he resigns, is released?
• They say we are not open

     If any of these topics sound helpful and interesting, please subscribe to the blog.  I plan to send a link for subscription by the end of the month.

  Thank you again for your encouragement.  Please be looking for the opportunity to subscribe to the new blog.

Why Do You Run Without Shoes?

     Last week I completed 3,000 miles of running without shoes. People often ask, “Why do you run barefooted?”. Two answers top the list: 

1. It brings back good childhood memories. In my childhood, I took off my shoes as soon as the weather was warm in the spring and I enjoyed it. 
2. Running without shoes is a good parable for life.

     Here are a few of things I have observed from this experience: 

• Life is painful. Often people ask, “Doesn’t it hurt to run without shoes?”. Yes. It often hurts to run with shoes. If I avoid everything in life that is uncomfortable, I will not accomplish many important things. According to Paul, our hope is in our pain. Romans 5:1–5 Edwin Friedman said, “A leader is one who increases his toleration for pain in himself and others.” Planned, chosen, and managed pain can bring growth. Philippians 3:7–15

• Many big things can be accomplished by doing little things consistently. Hebrews 12:1–3 When I started running without shoes in the Spring of 2010, I began with walking a few minutes without shoes. The next week, I ran 1/4 mile shoeless; the next week, 1/2 mile; the next week, 3/4 mile; the next week, 1 mile. Then I added a mile each week until I was running without shoes all the time. My feet and leg muscles, as well as the bottom of my feet, adjusted to the new challenges and cooperated without injury. Bible study, saving money, becoming competent in any field of study or skill can often be achieved by persistent progress in small steps.

• Important areas of life demand a commitment, not a trial. A lady came beside me to discuss my lack of shoes in the Franklin Classic 10K run and after some discussion said, “I’ve thought about trying barefoot running.” You don’t try it; you commit to it to see the benefits. Many things demand a commitment, not a trial, to receive the rewards: living for Jesus, marriage, life’s work.

• Many people will think you are weird. I need to ask myself, “Are you doing what you are doing because you think it is best or to please other people and escape criticism?” Galatians 1:10 I should make decisions on what is best to glorify God and produce growth in my life.

     I don’t think everybody needs to run or run without shoes. I have been blessed by 45 years of running and the last four and a half years without shoes, have been enjoyable and beneficial.

If You Need a Minister

     When you need to find a new preacher, how do you do it? “We’ve just always invited some men in, let them preach, listen to comments from the congregation — either written or by word — then hire the man we think is the best.” That is the answer I often hear.

     Could that be improved?

     Last week, I reread If You Need a Minister: practical advice for hiring your next minister, by Will Perkins. At Maury City, we are ready to begin the preacher search. There is a training session scheduled for Sunday afternoon for the men who will be leading the selection. I obtained a copy for each man on the team.

     Will, in a concise way, outlines and suggests an approach that involves beginning with thinking and planning rather than just doing what we have always done. I think he has some practical suggestions that would be good to consider by any congregation looking for any minister position.

Contents: 

     Introduction
     Before You Begin
     Who Are You?
     What Are You Looking For?
     The Search Process
     A Final Word
     Sample Job Posting
     Sample Interview Questions
     Sample Work Agreement

     You can buy this book by clicking this link: If You Need a Minister .

     What suggestions do you have for the selection process?

A Tuesday Wedding Has Lasted

     The past two weeks have been a great time of reflection and thanksgiving.

     August 18 was the 50th anniversary of our marriage.  Gail and I were married August 18, 1964 at the Tuscumbia Church of Christ in Tuscumbia, Alabama.  It was a Tuesday.  How many weddings have you attended on a Tuesday afternoon at 5:00?

     Why would anyone do that?  When we decided to get married, I was making $65.00 a month, preaching at four different churches.  I couldn't afford to miss a Sunday.  They told me we needed to practice for the wedding.  We practiced on Monday, got married Tuesday, returned from our honeymoon on Saturday so I could preach on the next Sunday.

     On our honeymoon, we had $150.00 in travelers checks for the trip.  We went to Rock City in Chattanooga, Gatlinburg, and Cherokee, North Carolina.  On the way from Chattanooga, we had to replace a fuel pump in South Pittsburg, Tennessee.  That was $20.00.

     We had a good time and returned home with a $10.00 travelers check.

     God has been good to us these fifty years.  I am thankful for the Tuscumbia church for providing our wedding and reception.  They had been Gail's and Brenda's (Gail's sister) sponsors at Childhaven since they came there in 1950.

     Our children and grandchildren, Jerrie Wayne Barber, II, Terri, Elizabeth, Jackson, Jeffrey, Whitney, Nathan, Dalton, Wyatt Houston and Christi, Brian, Brittan, and Braden Parsons, have been and continue to be a joy and blessing to us.

     We have been encouraged by ten churches were we have worked full time (five) and as an interim with five.

     I appreciate our children and grandchildren arranging our celebration this past Saturday at the Berry's Chapel Church of Christ.  I am thankful to those who came, to those who wanted to come, to those who have contacted us through the U. S. mail, FaceBook, Twitter, and phone.

     Incidentally, on the Sunday before we were married, I tried out for a church to preach on Sundays and teach a class on Wednesday night.  They asked me if I thought I could make it on $75.00 A WEEK!  I told them I would do the best I could.

     That is what you call just-in-time delivery.  God has been good to us.  Brethren have encouraged us.  I look forward to the future with faith.

★          ★          ★

BE WATCHING FOR A CHANGE IN MY BLOG IN THE NEAR FUTURE!

Daddy’s Bible, Daddy’s Life

     Five years ago today I sat with my Dad, John T. Barber, in the emergency room at Vanderbilt.  At 4:00 p.m., his defibulator went off.  When nurses came in they asked, "Mr. Barber, what do you want us to do for you."  He replied, "Everything you can."

     They did.  But his heart was worn out.  I reflect on Hebrews 11:4 about Able, who has been dead for thousands of years, and is still talking.  Daddy has been dead five years and he continues to talk.

     Above is one of several Bibles he wore out reading and studying.  He had a third or fourth grade education.  He didn't know how far he got in school.  But he contributed to the happiness and well-being of his family, friends, and many others that he touched.

     I keep that Bible where I am working and see it every day I come to the office.  I am reminded of the way he helped many people and did the best he could, with what he had, where he was.

     Despite pain from worn out knees and, the last few years, a damaged heart, he kept a positive and bright outlook.  His favorite response to the question, "How are you doing?" was,  "Way above average.  The average person my age is dead."

     From my perspective, he lived a life that was "way above average.”

When Might an Interim Minister Be Helpful?

     The concept of having a preacher for a planned short time after a long ministry is foreign to many people.  To some members of the church, if we don’t have a full-time preacher with a long-term commitment, we are “spinning our wheels.” 

     Many churches have done well without an intentional interim. One the other hand, many preachers have been hurt and many congregations have suffered because the leaders hurriedly selected a man who became an unintentional interim – a preacher who was brought in after a long and successful ministry of a good faithful preacher or after a period of conflict in the congregation and was soon rejected through no fault of his own.

     When might it be good to bring in a trained preacher who will agree to stay for a limited time (six to eighteen months on average), who will give stability in the pulpit, and who will prepare the church for the next full-time preacher?

     Ronald G. Brown wrote this in an article on Intentional Interim:

     An Intentional Interim Minister is needed if a church finds itself in one or more of the following situations:

1. The minister served seven or more years before leaving,
2. The minister resigned under pressure (a forced termination),
3. The The minister’s resignation was requested due to ethical or moral misconduct,
4. The minister departed in the midst of severe conflict within the church,
5. The church has not conducted a self-study of its structure, history, priorities, mission or vision in the last five years, or 
6.  The church has a pattern of the last two ministers leaving after having served the church for only 2-3 years (Ronald G. Brown, © Intentional Interim is copyrighted by Interim Ministry Network, Inc., Baltimore, MD).


BE WATCHING FOR A CHANGE IN MY BLOG IN THE NEAR FUTURE!

What Do You Do When They Don't Call Tuesday Night at 7:00?

     Last month I discussed one of the most disappointing and frustrating things in the search process for me as a preacher: a promise to call with information on the search committee's progress or of the elders' deliberation, usually preceded with, “We'll let you know something next Tuesday night at 7:00": followed by nothing.

     One year at the Eldership Retreat at Faulkner University, I was exhorting elders to communicate with prospective preachers – especially when you say you will. David Short, then director of Faulkner development and an elder of the University congregation, taught me a good lesson. He said, “Jerrie, we experience the same thing in raising money for the school. We present the opportunity to help Faulkner. The person needs some time to think about it and promises to call at a certain time. I also note it in my planner and confirm the date and time. Then I add, "I'll look forward to hearing from you next Tuesday night at 7:00 p.m. And if you are not able to call at that time, I'll check with you a day or two after that." That gives me permission to renew the conversation.”

     Thank you, David Short! That is an application of a principle that I have long believed and taught: I am 100% responsible for my communication. As I have reflected on that valuable suggestion, I wonder if I had not done that for the same reason that many have not called. Most people don't like to give and receive unpleasant news. And most of the news in the search process is not favorable – unless the church is considering only one preacher and the preacher is only talking to one congregation and they both could not envision any other being as good as the one now being considered.


     I would guess that most elders or search committee members don't enjoy delivering the message, “We have decided to look elsewhere.” I know that is not the most encouraging news for a preacher with three weeks to go on a ninety-day agreement. Therefore what I need to do as the preacher wanting to know what is happening is complete the conversation. Make the call. Ask for the information I want. Minutes are free on my cell after 9:00 p.m. and on weekends. If they are still considering me or if I am the preacher they want, I learn that and the call probably will not change that. If I am no longer being considered, I learn that and I am free from thinking about that possibility any longer. “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32, NKJV).  

“We’ll Call You Next Tuesday Night at 7:00”

      One of the most frustrating experiences that I had several years ago when I was talking with congregations considering me as their next preacher was the statement of those looking for a preacher, “We’ll call you next Tuesday night at 7:00 and let you know something.” When this happened – and it happened more than a dozen times – I would confirm: “Is that Tuesday the 16th? Is that 7:00 Central time or Eastern time?” I was living in the Eastern time zone.

     I would confirm our appointment: “I’ll be waiting for your call next Tuesday night, February 16th, at 7:00, Eastern standard time.”

     I looked forward with great anticipation. Was I still being considered? Would they like me to come for an interview? Have they eliminated me from consideration? Am I their choice and are they ready to make final plans for us to locate to a new work?

     Time after time, I would prepare the family: “I have an important call coming at 7:00. No one is to use the phone after 6:30.” This was before call waiting and cell phones. “It is essential that I get this call. I need to talk with an elder calling me about the opportunity to work with a congregation.”

      7:00 p.m. EST would come and go. 7:30 would pass. I thought, “Surely I misunderstood. They said Central time. They will call in thirty minutes.” 8:00 passed. 9:00 and still no call. I assumed, “Maybe they meant Wednesday night. That’s when elders usually meet.”

     In anticipation, I would prepare my family the next night for clear phone lines. My experience was: no call that night, sometimes a week or two later than promised, and sometimes never.

     This was so frustrating and disappointing. That experience was so much the norm that I remember the name of an elder decades later who was different. Jimmy Vaughn from Amory, Mississippi, talked with me on the phone about their preacher search. He said, “We are talking with one preacher at a time. We would be interested in talking with you if we do not come to an agreement with the one now in consideration. I will call you either way.” He set a time and date to call. Now to my surprise, he called on the night and at the appointed time. It was so unusual, that when I see him now I refer to him as “the elder who tells the truth.”

     What am I saying about the selection process? If you are on a search committee or if you are an elder working on the search process:

• Acknowledge each applicant. A form letter is better than ignoring the person as unimportant.
• If you say you are going to call, make a note and call.
• If you don’t have any new information at the appointed time, call at the appointed time and say you don’t have any new information and indicate when the preacher might learn more.
• When a preacher is no longer under consideration, contact that man and tell him he is no longer under consideration. The rejection hurts. But it hurt me more to learn of it three months after the new preacher had moved and I still had received no communication.
• Thank the person who applied and give a word of encouragement that God has a place in His kingdom for him to work.

     The principle Jesus taught was, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37, NKJV).

     Next month: What can the preacher do when they don’t call at 7:00 p.m., EST?

Helping People Grow During Transiton

     A group that I have found helpful in some of my interims is the Transition Monitoring Team. The team is to be composed of twenty people from different groups (ages, occupations, interests, proponents, critics) in the congregation: ten selected by the elders, ten volunteers.

     This group is to help the congregation make a good transition (which is growth on the inside – spiritually) while change (finding a new preacher) is happening in this church. It is important for everyone to understand the purpose of this group. It is a monitoring team–not a management team. It has no decision-making power. It's purpose is to facilitate communication to the elders, among people involved in the transition, and to demonstrate that the leaders want to know how things are going for people.

     We can review plans or communications before they are announced and provide ready access to the grapevine so that it can correct misinformation and counter rumors. This group is to function from now until a new preacher is selected. 

     It is good to encourage people to participate in this group because of the benefits: to this church in helping during this important time in its growth and to themselves. The members will develop closer relationships with good people. They will learn more about change, loss, transition, and growth during the events in our lives and they will feel satisfaction that they have contributed to the peace, harmony, and development of the congregation. 

     This group is designed to meet once a month and to give a report to the elders about what people are saying, what people are asking, what people are fearing, and what they are losing. We do not identify the people who make the statements.

     We have three items each month.

• Report from the grapevine—what people are saying.
• Read a chapter from William Bridges’ book, Transitions:  Making Sense of Life’s Changes, and share a “mustard seed” from it.
• Tell how you are doing with the transition in this church and with others transitions in your life.

     It is my observation that people grow in their understanding of themselves and what is happening in the church. From that, they are able to share their understanding with others.  I believe that health is catching as well as disease.

     The concept of a monitoring team and many details are taken from Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change, by William Bridges, Copyright © 1991, 2003 by William Bridges and Associates, Inc.

     To buy these books, click on the links below:

     Transitions:  Making Sense of Life’s Changes

     Managing Transitions: Making the Most of Change

Suggestions and Examples of Good Leaving for a Preacher

     The preacher is leaving.

     It is my thinking that is it helpful for the preacher and the congregation to acknowledge this reality and plan for it. The best time to begin this process is when the preacher comes or earlier – during the interview process. When I was talking with the elders of Berry‟s Chapel during the fall and winter of 1992-1993, I told them that I wanted to do interim ministry in the future. Perhaps this made our relationship better and maybe this was my first interim although I was there fourteen years.

     I did “pre-marital counseling” with one preacher and congregation a few years ago. We talked about him leaving that congregation before he started working with them. We discussed how they would treat his wife and children should he die during his time with them. I asked them how they would like to be informed should he decide to move to another work. I made suggestions and we discussed how to apply the golden rule in dismissing a preacher from his work. It is my observation that it is easier to discuss those topics when they have not happened. We lay a foundation of agreements that will be helpful when the change occurs. 

     The elders at Berry‟s Chapel and I discussed my leaving each year at my evaluation. “Are you still planning to do interim ministry?,” they would ask. In the fall of 2003, they asked if I had a date in mind. They said my contract called for ninety days notice. They wanted more time than that. The elders assured me they were not trying to rush the event but simply wanted us to plan. 

     After coming up with a transition plan, we announced my leaving during a family meeting June 13, 2004. I was to finish my work the first Sunday of April 2007. In a later announcement, the elders said, “To our knowledge, in the 105 year history of this congregation, there has never been a planned transition. We would like to try it one time and see how it works.” 

      From my perspective, this worked well. As we were approaching twenty months remaining, my wife and I decided that a visit with each family would be a good way to say good-bye. We started and the beginning and end of the directory and worked toward the middle. We visited 95% of the families in the congregation. These visits were in their homes, our homes, at restaurants, and at the church building. It was a good way to express appreciation for the time we enjoyed with that congregation, to talk about our departure, and the work we planned to do in the future. 

     During the last six months, I had a “workshop Sunday night” each month. I selected some of my favorite sermons – some that I had preached there before and some that I had not preached – and delivered them. I used some lessons that I had presented at workshops and special services at other congregations. Several people told me that I should have resigned earlier because I was preaching better after I announced my departure. 

     From time to time, I would mention what I would miss about this congregation and what the time with them had meant to me and my family. This is the time to express gratitude for time shared – not how great the next place is going to be. 

     The outgoing preacher should finish his work and see that necessary things are covered. It is good to see that the next preacher is provided with information that will help his ministry start well. I delivered a lesson on how to treat the new preachers. Wes Gallagher had recently begun working with the congregation. Andy Baker would be following me in the pulpit. 

     It is no credit to any preacher and his ministry for the work to go down and the congregation to dislike the next preacher. The leaving preacher can be helpful in preparing for the change. 

     John the Baptist had the right idea for transition when he said, “He must increase, but I must decrease” (John 3:30). Jesus is a model for preparing for change: “From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day” (Matthew 16:21). Although it did not take away the hurt and confusion, when the apostles worked though their disorientation and disappointment, they did what Jesus commanded and trained them to do – carry the gospel to the world. 

How Is Your Preacher Leaving?

     The present preacher is leaving your congregation. A preacher may leave his present congregation in one of four ways:

1. He may leave at the second coming of Jesus when everyone else in the congregation leaves (1 Thessalonians 4:16, 17).
2. Within the next seventy-five to one hundred years most preachers reading this will die.
3. Elders have the choice of making changes.
4. Preachers can decide to quit preaching, move to another congregation, or retire.

     Any of the last three are emotionally and spiritually challenging. I have not observed the first.

     Since this event will have an impact on the congregation, the preacher, and his family, I think it is good to think about it, pray about it, and plan for it. I have tried it with and without planning. In my experience, talking and planning are better.

     Jesus prepared His disciples for His leaving. “From that time Jesus began to show to His disciples that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed, and be raised the third day” (Matthew 16:21, NKJV). They were upset (Matthew 16:22, 23). They didn’t understand (Mark 9:20–37). They fussed about who would be the greatest in the kingdom (Luke 9:43–48). But he kept telling them (Luke 22:14–23). They continued to get upset with each other (Luke 22:24). He increased the details and words of comfort (John 14:1–6).

     Although Jesus planned and prepared His friends for His leaving, it did not take away the panic and the pain. But after He left earth, they carried out His mission.

     Next month, I plan to discuss some suggestions on planning to leave.

Your Preacher Is Leaving

     It has been my observation that churches and preachers do better when there is a long ministry.  When they are effective, they get to know each other and the community.  They can build relationships that are mutually beneficial.

     I have had the opportunity to visit where the preacher has been at the same congregation for more than a decade.  I have had that situation more than once in my years of ministry.

     But at some time, that ministry in that place with that preacher is going to end.  I think it is helpful when all involved realize that, talk about it, and plan for the transition.

     One of the frequent ways I hear people dealing with that reality is denial.  "We love our preacher.  He has been with us twenty-five years and he is never going to leave."  "Our preacher is also an elder.  He doesn’t want to leave and he has job security."

     The preacher is leaving. I have known preachers who have been at a church for many years, felt secure, and suddenly found out they were leaving.  I have known preachers who also served as elders who left—sometimes by their choice, at other times not by their choice.

     Next month, I plan to tell you how he is going to leave.

How to Establish Trust

     Several years ago, I was new in a congregation. I noticed a young man asking different people to borrow a dollar. Most people gave him a dollar. I observed this for several weeks.  One day this young man asked, “Brother Barber, could I borrow a dollar?”

      I replied, “Why do you need it and when will you pay me back?”. When he answered those questions, I told him I had to sign notes when I borrowed money. He was willing. I wrote the details on two 3 x 5 cards:  date, amount, 0% interest, and due date. We both signed both copies.  He paid me on the agreed date. I signed his note:  “Paid in Full,” and dated it. 

     Several weeks later, he asked to borrow $5.00.  After satisfactorily answering the questions of why and when, I loaned him the money.  He paid me back at the specified time.  After some time, he asked to borrow $10.00.  With the same procedure, I loaned him the money.  However, the Wednesday night before the due date the following Sunday, he came to me with a distressed look on his face.  “Brother Barber, I don’t know what to do.  I’ve promised to pay you Sunday and I can’t do it.  What can I do?”

     “You have done the most responsible thing you can do.  You told me before the money was due.  When can you pay me?”  He answered, “A week from Sunday.”  I explained, “All we have to do is change the due date.”  I changed the date on both cards.  He paid on the adjusted due date. 

     Several months went by.  He asked this time, “May I borrow $20.00?”.  After asking “Why” and “When,” I loaned him the money without any worry or doubt.  Why?  He had been responsible with less.  He had showed me what he would do when things didn’t work out the way he had hoped.  “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much” (Luke 16:10, NKJV). 

     That is my model for developing trust with any person or group.  In the beginning, I give only what I can afford to loose.  If that works well, I give more.  I like to be aware of what happens when things don’t work as planned.  I want to watch and learn.  What is really happening?  Is there consistency?  What is the basis for trust?  “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32).  “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1).  This is the way to develop trust, or to be aware of distrust–depending on the evidence.  It is not a service to me or others to give what I can’t afford to lose or to cast my “pearls before lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces” (Matthew 7:6).  On the other hand, it is good to be able “to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear” (1 Peter 3:15).  This process of developing and evaluating confidence is helpful in courtship, in considering a preacher or a church, in potential friendship, or in business.

Preacher Checking References on a Church

     ...read the previous three blog posts on checking references on prospective preachers.

     Several years ago, an elder from a church searching for a preacher asked me to send a résumé, three tapes, and three references. I told him I would be glad to do that. I then asked him to send me the average attendance and contribution for the past five years, three tapes, and three references.

     He asked, “Why do you want me to do that?”

     I asked, “Why do you want me to send my information?

     He said, “Because we don‟t know you.”

     I replied, “I don‟t know you. I need that information for the same reason.”

     I call this, “equalizing the pressure.” The examination phase should not be one way. A successful try-out is determining if we fit, not getting the invitation to come. If we talk and find out we do not fit and do not work together, we are just as successful as when we talk and determine we fit and decide to work together.

     I like to interview the preachers for past twenty years, secretaries, members, members who left the congregation happy, members who left the congregation unhappy, and preachers for congregations in area.

     I prefer talking in person. Often that is not possible or practical. If not, I call, tell my purpose, and ask for a telephone appointment. I ask for up to an hour of their time, determine when it is convenient, and call back. I establish a rule of confidentiality and proceed to learn what I can that will be helpful in assessing my fit with this congregation.

     Questionnaire guidelines that I have used:

     Preacher questionnaire 

     Staff questionnaire

What Do I Ask in Checking References on a Preacher?

…continued from last month

     In my opinion, the minimum of checking references should be a detailed time of questioning the references listed with at least three more references that the person did not list. I like a guideline: Preacher Reference Form . This helps my thinking and gives uniformity when more than one person is checking references. I adapted this one from the Minister Transition Packet prepared by Dr. Charles Siburt. I recommend that churches and preachers considering transition get a copy of this book assembled in a 3-ring binder and read it from cover to cover. It is the wisdom and forms from many books, congregations, and individuals and contains ideas that will help discern how to handle a change. You can order this material:  Minister Transition Packet . There is also one prepared for selecting youth ministers. Order from this email:   cyfm@acu.edu .

     Churches can prevent much heartache by doing adequate checking of references, background check, and credit check. A man with nothing to hide will not mind. Jesus said, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free” (John 8:32). I want to listen to the person’s strengths. I have noticed some. That’s the reason I am following up. I want to hear about his weaknesses. If the reference doesn’t know or tell at least one weakness, I discount the reference. He may not know the person well enough to know his weaknesses. He may not want to tell. I want to know to determine if we can live with what we don’t like about each other. One of the questions that has been very productive for me in checking references is the Golden Rule Question: Matthew 7:12 – "If I were in your place and you were in mine, what would you want me to tell you?" 

     Next month, I plan to discuss preachers checking references of churches. 

Am I Aware of What I Don't Like?

…continued from last month...

     We get married, move to a new congregation because of what we like–the perfection we perceive in the new partner.  People get a divorce, fire the preacher, move looking for greener pastures, because of what they don’t like.

     Some of this should come out in the interview process.  If everyone is looking for the truth–not just a preacher or a job–we will be able to share our strengths and weaknesses.  We can then talk about how and if we can live with our differences.  Another way to get to that part of the truth–and to check the information you have already received–is through checking references. 

     Usually a prospective preacher is asked for references.  It is my experience and observation that references are not often checked.  “Anybody can find three people who will say good things about them.”  And when they are checked it is often done poorly.  I receive several calls a year from people wanting to know about someone interested in a position in a church or business.  Often the question is, “What can you tell me about this person,” with little or no follow-up. 

…continued...

Checking References on a Prospective Preacher (What Do You Not Like and How Will You Put Up With It?)

     One of the questions I enjoy asking in pre-marital counseling: “What is it about you future wife/husband 

• that irritates you 
• that you don’t like 
• you think you will be able to change in six months 
• but you won’t 
• and how will you put up with it?” 

     Then we have a discussion about looooooooooooooooooooooong-suffering. Longsuffering means suffering a long time. 

     I don’t believe a couple is ready to get married until they know – both what they like AND what they don’t like about each other and how they will put up with it. I also think the same principle is true of a preacher and a congregation. 

...to be continued...

Criticism Is and Will Be

…continued from last month...

I can be defeated by criticism by:

1.  Rejecting it all. This assumes that I am the smartest, wisest person on earth. There is no one who knows as much-and certainly not more than I do. No one could tell me a better way to think or act. Therefore, I do not need to hear a critic. And if anyone should have one small bit of information different from what I have already thought (and I doubt if they do), they must come with the best attitude (judged by me), with the right tone of voice, at the right time, and acknowledge that I am probably right. Moreover, if I am not right on this issue, I am right on everything else. 

2.  Accepting it all. Everyone knows more than I do. All people are wiser than I am. Any time any one tells me a better way to think or act, I must comply with his or her wishes. After all, I have few goals in life. My main one is to please everyone all the time. That's not asking much. Therefore, when anyone criticizes me, I will immediately take that person's advice. I will comply with his wishes.

     There is at least one more choice. I can listen to what others say. I can thank them for their concern. Anyone who finds salmonella or E. coli in my refrigerator and tells me is my friend-not my enemy. Anyone who criticizes has some concern, some connection to me.

     After I have listened, I can think. I can evaluate. I can decide if the comments were helpful, hurtful, or neutral. I can choose to accept, reject, or ponder the comments. I am not obligated to accept, refuse, defend, or refute. I can think and act appropriately. When I have remembered to do this, I become less anxious and wiser.

     Charles Reynolds Brown, dean of Yale Divinity School, commented, "The man who does not know, and does not know that he does not know and is not willing that anyone should tell him that he does not know, had better not enter the ministry-he had better raise sweet potatoes "Education for Christian Service, "The Training of a Minister," page 11).
For a longer discussion of this subject, select the CD: How to Accept, Invite, and Enjoy Criticism .

Leaders Are Criticized

…continued from last month...

          The children of Israel wanted a recall on Moses and Aaron. When Joshua and Caleb concurred with their leadership, the congregation wanted to stone them (Numbers 14:1-10).  Paul was criticized.  "For his letters," they say, "are weighty and powerful, but his bodily presence is weak, and his speech contemptible" (2 Corinthians 10:10, NKJV).  In our language:  "He is ugly and he can't preach."  Jesus was criticized.  He was called a glutton and a wino (Matthew 11:19).  "He has a demon, and is insane" (John 10:20, ESV).  On one occasion, His own people said, "He is out of His mind" (Mark 3:21, NKJV).  If Jesus and Paul were not good enough and effective enough to escape criticism, even from those close to them, Jerrie Barber will be criticized.

          If that is true, I have some choices.  I can play the game of "Ain't it awful" and wish that it would go away.  I can get angry and defensive and blame the criticizers.  I can feel rejected and depressed because everybody doesn't appreciate how hard I work and how dedicated I am.  Or I can accept reality:  lightning rods attract lightning.  Lightning rods process strong surges of electricity.  A bolt of lightning can travel 37 miles per second and reach a temperature of 54,000 degrees F.  The lightning rod accepts the power and transports it to the ground to keep the house over which it is watching safe.

…to be continued...

Are You a Lightning Rod or a Knicknack?−Attitude Toward Criticism

     During the early years of my ministry, I didn't want criticism.  I was scared of criticism.  When someone told me what they didn't like, I felt rejected, mistreated.  Twenty-one years after I started preaching, it was brought to my attention that criticism is a given.  People thought it.  I had the choice of knowing what others think and evaluating whether it is helpful or not helpful or of letting people know that I don't want it.  If I choose that, my friend told me, "They won't tell you their criticisms until they are ready to fire (divorce, leave, reject) you."

     As I have reflected on that conversation on a Monday afternoon in 1982, I have thought about the absurdity of my original attitude toward criticism.  When a person accepts a position of leadership (elder, deacon, preacher, teacher, parent, Christian), he or she is accepting an opportunity of being in front and calling others to a higher plane.  My picture is that of a lightning rod.  The encyclopedia says that a lightning rod is a "metallic rod (usually copper) that protects a structure from lightning damage by intercepting flashes and guiding their currents into the ground.  Because lightning tends to strike the highest object in the vicinity, rods are typically placed at the apex of a structure and along its ridges; they are connected to the ground by low-impedance cables" (http://www.britannica.com/eb/article-9048229/lightning-rod).

...to be continued...