Learning to Love my Friend(s) 8

We had a good group to construct a Time Line of the Eddyville congregation two weeks ago. It is impressive to see the last 47 years of this church on a 20-foot poster. We will be getting together to discuss this history and what we learn from it.

* * *

Jesus Is Willing to Help and Serve Me with Patience

A. A friend is someone who will help when you have a need.
B. A friend is someone who will ask you for help when he or she has a need.

I. JESUS DEMONSTRATED HIS PATIENCE WITH THE APOSTLES BY HELPING THEM TO RESOLVE AN ISSUE THAT CAME UP OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
A. Who will be the greatest? Matthew 20:24; Mark 9:33,34; Luke 9:46; Luke 22:24
B. Jesus answered and illustrated the way to greatness over and over again. Matthew 20:25-28; Mark 9:35-37; Luke 9:47,48; Luke 22:25-27
C. It is interesting to notice the occasion of each argument concerning the issue of greatness. Matthew 20:17-19; Mark 9:30-32; Luke 9:44,45; Luke 22:21-23

II. WHEN TALKING HAD NOT RESOLVED THE QUESTION OF GREATNESS, JESUS GAVE AN EXAMPLE, AN OBJECT LESSON.
A. Jesus performed a lowly act of service. John 13:3-11
B. Jesus did the act, then He reviewed the lesson.
1. He checked for understanding. John 13:12
a. Many people see, but never understand.
b. Change, growth, real help and learning comes from understanding. Matthew 13:15
2. Jesus washed their feet, not just to get their feet clean, but to teach a lesson. John 13:13-15
3. He put the issue of greatness in perspective. John 13:16
4. When a lesson has been given, we get a passing grade and a diploma only if we complete the assignment. John 13:17
5. Much of our effectiveness as a helper and teacher will be determined by how we relate to people. John 13:20; Matthew 10:40

III. JESUS’ GREATEST ACT OF SERVICE WAS THE GIVING OF HIS LIFE.
A. In this, He taught us about service. 1 John 3:16-18
1. He died because He chose to serve and to do the will of His Father. John 10:17,18
2. He died with much struggle and pain. Matthew 27:45-50
3. He served, died, knowing the reward that would be His. Hebrews 12:1,2
B. These same principles need to be a part of my service to others.
1. Choice.
2. Much service will involve inconvenience and pain.
3. I will be rewarded.

IV. JESUS IS STILL SERVING US TODAY.
A. He talks to God, the Father for us. Hebrews 7:25
B. He is our Advocate. 1 John 2:1
1. He pleads our case from personal knowledge and experience of pain and difficulty. Hebrews 4:15
2. A defense lawyer can only be helpful when we have told Him what we have done that needs His defense. 1 John 1:9

Conclusion:
A. What is something we can learn from the disciples of Jesus in their disagreements that can be helpful in working with others who are troubled?
B. What are some ways you might be able to show a friend something you have been trying to tell them?
C. What are some ways we can make efforts for people to receive us in order that they might receive Jesus?
1. When are some times that it might be helpful to talk to someone else in behalf of a friend?
2. When would it be appropriate to stand beside a friend and plead his cause?
3. What is a situation that one might “lay down his life” for a friend without actually dying for that person?

Learning to Love my Friend(s) 7

Everyone was present and participated in the class tonight. We discussed the necessary, challenging, and sometimes difficult quality of telling the truth. Jesus was truth (John 14:6). Obviously, He told the truth.

We spend the last part of our class tonight thinking about telling the truth as it relates to selecting a preacher.

* * *

I. JESUS IS MY EXAMPLE OF TELLING THE TRUTH.
A. Why was it easy for Jesus to tell the truth? John 14:6
B. How did Jesus tell the truth to those who were considering following Him? Luke 14:25-33
C. How did Jesus demonstrate dependability?
1. He made promises. Matthew 5:17,18; Luke 19:10
2. Jesus kept those promises, even when it was difficult.
a. Even when he didn’t feel well and wasn’t happy. Matthew 26:37,38
b. Even when He didn’t get the encouragement He needed. Matthew 26:40,41
c. Even when He asked over and over and could find no easier way than to do what He said He would do. Matthew 26:44
3. Jesus thought about getting out of His suffering.
a. If Jesus had prayed to His Father, what would He have given to Him? Matthew 26:53
b. What would have been the consequences of making the choice of calling for the angels? Matthew 26:54

II. HOW CAN I BE RELIABLE, DEPENDABLE?
A. Believe what Jesus said about the freeing quality of truth. John 8:32
B. Realize that consistent truthfulness is a difficult goal to reach.
1. Telling the truth is difficult because it is difficult to know the truth - even our own truth. Jeremiah 17:9; 1 John 1:8
2. Paul wrote to faithful Christians who needed to quit lying. Ephesians 4:25; Ephesians 1:1; Acts 7:58
3. Although it is impossible for God to lie (Hebrews 6:18), men do not always keep their promises. 2 Peter 3:9
4. This failure to keep promises may be due to:
a. Dishonesty.
b. Disability.
c. Lack of information.
d. Fear.
e. Forgetfulness.
C. Count the cost of not knowing, loving, and telling the truth. 2 Thessalonians 2:10-12
D. Consider these principles.
1. Understand clearly what will be expected of you before you make promises. Mark 10:35,36
2. Don’t promise what you can’t deliver. Mark 10:37-40
3. Mind your own business. Matthew 20:23; 1 Thessalonians 4:11
4. Don’t prop up what you say. Matthew 5:33-36
5. Say what you mean, mean what you say. Matthew 5:37
6. Be accountable when it doesn’t work out that way. 1 John 1:9
7. Is it the time to tell this part of the truth? John 16:12
8. Listen to understand before you talk to answer. Proverbs 18:13
9. Try to get all possible pertinent information from different sources before drawing conclusions. Proverbs 18:17
10. Be conscious of telling the truth in “little things.” Luke 16:10


Conclusion:
A. Why is telling the truth a leadership principle that we need to practice?
B. When are some times when it will be hard to tell the truth as a leader?
C. What will an effective leader do when he or she finds that what he or she has promised has not or will not come true?

Learning to Love my Friend(s) 6

Our sixth class last night was encouraging. We have good participation.

In preparing for our time-line and self-study, we have spreadsheets completed for the years 1961 - 1989. The remainder will be finished soon.

A family meeting will be conducted after services Sunday night, September 30.

Here is the outline of our class last night:

* * *

My Friend Jesus Loves Me All the Time

Introduction:
A. This is one of the Biblical definitions of a friend. Proverbs 17:17; Job 6:14
B. But how can I do this and not condone the sinful actions of others?

I. THE PEOPLE MOST ATTRACTED TO JESUS WERE THE PEOPLE MOST CONDEMNED BY OTHERS.
A. Jesus invited the troubled. Matthew 11:28-30
B. Rank sinners were more attracted to Jesus than the religious people. Matthew 21:28-32
1. He taught that each person was important and He treated them that way. Matthew 16:26
2. He selected a tax collector as one of His apostles. Mark 2:13,14
3. He ate with them. Mark 2:15-17
4. He accepted their company, admiration, and gifts. Luke 7:36-50
5. He forgave them. John 8:3-11

II. HOW CAN I LOVE THE SINNER, NOT APPROVE OF SIN, AND HELP HIM/HER TO OVERCOME SIN?
A. Understand my job description: it does not include keeping a heaven and hell list of people living or dead.
1. It is true that we can judge the actions of people and respond appropriately as God has authorized in the Bible.
a. We can inspect fruit. Matthew 7:15,20
b. We can withhold fellowship from brethren who rebelliously participate in willful sin. 1 Corinthians 5:11
2. However, I have not been authorized to keep a heaven and hell list, a summary of eternal judgment decrees.
a. It is not the time and I don’t have adequate information. 1 Corinthians 4:3-5
b. I don’t have the books. Revelation 20:12
c. I don’t have the authority. John 5:22
3. But what about judging righteous judgment? John 7:14-24
a. This had to do with Jesus’ education and whether He was teaching the truth.
b. This was in response to Jesus healing a man on the Sabbath day.
4. The judgment committed to the Son exclusively was eternal judgment. John 5:22-29
B. Be honest with myself, always searching for and applying truth to myself as I relate to others. Romans 14:14,22,23
C. Really give people a choice; invitation is not manipulation. Matthew 11:28-30; John 6:66-69; 1 Corinthians 1:17
D. Always leave the front door open and keep looking down the road for those who choose to come later. Luke 15:11-24
E. Reassure people of their value, acceptance, and the availability of forgiveness. Matthew 26:69-75; Mark 16:7

Conclusion:
A. How could you apply the principles of your Friend, Jesus, to develop a friendship with a dishonest politician, a prostitute, or a street person?
B. What structure would you set to keep from being infected with the sin in their life?
C. When and how might you proceed into a Bible study to teach them the good news of Jesus?
D. After their baptism, how would you help them place membership in this congregation, feel a part of the fellowship, continue to grow as a Christian, and be accepted as an important part of the body of Christ?

World Record!!!

I enjoy seeing people break world records. Often, when a young person tells me it’s their birthday, I respond, "You have broken a world record!!! Never in the history of the entire world have you ever been five years old before. That is a world record!!!"
I broke a world record last Saturday. I have been running 38 years. I have run in uncounted 5K’s, 10K’s, three half marathons, and three marathons. I had never won a trophy. Never first, second, or third in overall competition. Never first, second, or third in my age group. That changed Saturday.
This past weekend was Founder’s Day in Eddyville, Kentucky. It was a weekend of music, crafts, a parade, and vendors with barbecue, cotton candy, funnel cakes, and more. They had the first Founder’s Day Fun Run and Walk Saturday morning. The two-mile trip started and ended at the Lyon County Middle School across the road from where we live. Members of the Eddyville church of Christ made up half the field of runners and walkers: Zach Lisanby, my wife, Gail, and me.
We started on time at 7:00 a.m. I finished 17 minutes and 9 seconds later – second in my age group. The other man, Clem Wethington, finished first with some distance between us. He was nice to run and talk with me to the turn around point – the fire plug at the NAPA store. Then he left and finished well.
After the run, I walked downtown and watched the three-on-three basketball competition and the parade. I was impressed by the cars carrying the 2007 Miss Founder’s Day Pageant winners. There was Miss Founder’s Day, another with Junior Miss Founder’s Day, followed by additional cars and pickups carrying Little Miss Founder’s Day, Petite Miss Founder’s Day, Tiny Miss Founder’s Day, Wee Miss Founder’s Day, and Baby Miss Founder’s Day. There was also a vehicle carrying third and fourth runners up. My guess is that many (if not all) were breaking world records. I did not hear one complaint that the organizers were giving too much recognition to too many people.
We followed that with a barbecue sandwich and Hawaiian shaved ice with Joe and Cheryl Walker. I enjoyed the party!!!
And I feel encouraged at breaking a world record with my first trophy for running!!!

Learning to Love my Friend(s) 5

Sunday night we had a family meeting at Eddyville. Joe Walker, one of our elders, said that the elders were considering installing power point and a system for recording sermons. He asked for input from the congregation about this. We discussed the continued process of gathering the information for the statistics for the congregation for the past 46 years. Many are cooperating in this project. We passed out a questionnaire on our Bible school. 30 people participated in providing information on that. The results were interesting and should be helpful in improving this part of our work. We discussed the preacher selection process. Books have been ordered and given to the elders that give suggestions on how to proceed. The last part of the meeting was the criticism -- "What do you think about the preacher?". I appreciate everyone who participated in this. I promised to : (1) Listen; (2) Write it down; (3) Think about it. I look forward to our next criticism session in 3 months. Thank you for helping me improve.


Tonight, we finished half of the classes in our elder, deacon, preacher, spouse study on Jesus as our Friend. Everyone was present. We had a good discussion of grief -- how it affects us and how we can minister to our friends in grief. We are planning a graduation on a 4th Sunday night after we have completed the 10 lessons.


* * *


My Friend Jesus Understands Me When I Am Sad


A. What can we learn from the two shortest verses in the Bible? John 11:35; 1 Thessalonians 5:16
B. Was Jesus obeying the principle in 1 Thessalonians 5:16 when he wept in John 11:35?
C. What is the biblical teaching about the painful feelings of grief and sorrow?
1. Is it, “Don’t worry – be happy?”
2. What did Jesus experience in the hours immediately preceding the cross? Matthew 26:37,38; Luke 22:44
3. Is it true that if we will just keep our minds on heaven, we won’t be concerned about these things which happen on earth? 1 Peter 1:3-6
4. Which does the Bible say is better, mourning or laughter? Ecclesiastes 7:2-4
a. Did he say it was more fun, enjoyable?
b. How could sorrow be better than laughter?
c. Is it wrong, sinful to laugh? Proverbs 17:22
d. How do you reconcile these verses?
e. What is the principle and blessing that Jesus states in the beatitudes that relates to this discussion? Matthew 5:4

I. HOW CAN JESUS UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I AM SAD?
A. What did Isaiah prophesy about Jesus that would qualify Him to understand me in my sorrow? Isaiah 53:3,4
B. Notice the examples of Jesus crying.
1. Why did Jesus cry over the city of Jerusalem? Luke 19:41-44
2. Jesus cried when Lazarus died.
a. What was Jesus’ relationship with Lazarus? John 11:3,11
b. What stages of grief do you see in this event in the life of Jesus? John 11:19-37
C. Notice the example of Jesus understanding the apostles.
1. While some may say that the apostles were unconcerned and indifferent, Jesus gave another observation. Matthew 26:40,41
2. To what does Luke, the doctor, attribute their sleep? Luke 22:45
3. This followed his unique comment about the intensity of Jesus’ agony. Luke 22:44

II. HOW CAN I BETTER UNDERSTAND MYSELF IN GRIEF?
A. What is grief?
B. When do we suffer grief; what is the key word?
C. What are some possible reactions to grief?
D. Should the Christian try to deny and suppress feelings of grief as soon as possible since the Bible says that we should “sorrow not”? 1 Thessalonians 4:13, KJV

III. HOW CAN I BE A FRIEND TO OTHERS IN GRIEF?
A. How can I help others who are experiencing loss?
B. What are some things I can do months after the loss?
C. How would the stages of grief relate to someone leaving another religion and those connected with it?
D. How would it be possible for someone to experience grief over giving up some sinful habit or practice?

Conclusion:
A. Be aware of your feelings when you lose small things.
B. Practice grieving as one with hope in these small losses.

Learning to Love my Friend(s) 4

I was with the Upper Sinking congregation in Hickman County, Tennessee, last week in a 6-day Gospel Meeting. They had good attendance at each service. One of the highlights of the week was a children's class each night at 7:15. Out of a congregation of about 45, there were 13 children in the class. Most of them were present for every service. Joe Bates has recently started preaching and working with this congregation. They are enthusiastic about doing the Lord's work.


* * *


Tonight, we had the fourth of the classes for elders, deacons, and spouses at Eddyville. These families are investing interest and energy in these studies. Each class lasts 2 1/2 hours. I appreciate and I am encouraged by the desire to learn and to be more effective that these leaders are showing.


Below is the outline of tonights class:


* * *


My Friend Jesus Understands Me When I Am Tempted
Lesson 4

I. HOW DOES JESUS UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I AM TEMPTED? Hebrews 4:15
A. Why do you think Jesus was really tempted to do these things at this time in His life? Matthew 4:1-10
B. What is temptation?
1. Is it a sin to be tempted?
2. Is it a sin to think about sinning?
3. Have you ever been tempted to do anything you have never thought about doing?
4. Is it a sin to want to sin?
5. Have you ever been tempted to do anything you did not want to do? James 1:13-15; Matthew 5:28
6. What sacrifices might one have to make to overcome temptation? Matthew 5:29,30
C. How can I know whether I am thinking about sinning as Moses or Jesus did (being tempted) or whether I am already sinning?
1. Am I looking at all known choices and their consequences?
2. Am I looking for truth or an excuse?
3. Am I being honest with myself? Psalm 51:6; Psalm 139:23,24

II. HOW DO I MAKE GOOD DECISIONS DURING TEMPTATION?
A. Have I given myself permission to look at more than one choice and be confused? Hebrews 11:24-27
1. Did Moses think about making the right choice (obeying and honoring God and His will)?
2. Did Moses think about sinning (making the wrong choice)?
a. How long was it from the time that Moses “became of age”, leaving his place as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, until he led the people of God out of Egypt? Acts 7:20-35; Acts 7:23,30
b. How enthusiastic was Moses, even after this period of time to obey God, face Pharaoh, and lead the Israelites out of Egypt? Exodus 3,4
c. What do you learn from Moses and his decision-making process?
B. Evaluate these statements in helping people to deal with temptation:
1. “What you need to do is just forget about this temptation, not think about it any more, and that will solve your problem.”
2. “Many people sin, not because they think about sinning, but because they do not think about sinning enough.”
C. Is this a candy decision or a car decision?

III. HOW CAN AN UNDERSTANDING FRIEND BE HELPFUL DURING TEMPTATION?
A. What should I expect from a true friend during temptation?
1. Condemnation that I should ever think of doing the wrong thing?
2. Telling me I cannot do what I am thinking about doing?
3. Agreement with whatever I wanted to do?
4. Detailed instructions on what to think and how to act?
5. Something else?
B. How can I be a friend like Jesus to someone who is experiencing temptation? Hebrews 2:17,18

Conclusion: Thinking about the next class: My Friend Jesus Understands Me When I Am Sad.
A. Be prepared not to enjoy or necessarily “feel good” preparing for or participating in this class.
1. How did Jesus learn obedience? Hebrews 5:8,9
2. How did Jesus describe the process of following Him? Luke 9:23,24
B. Think about a loss or losses you have had in your life and how you have or have not experienced different stages of grief.

Learning to Love my Friend(s) 3

Last week, we were with the Dorris Chapel congregation in Gibson County, Tennessee. They had great attendance from the community and sister congregations. They are doing well. They have had seven baptisms in the past few weeks. Their preacher, Tim Fuqua, has been with them twenty-three years. Valess Stults and Murray Turner serve well as elders. I preached there 1965, 1966. My first baptisms were there. The $150.00 they paid me for leading singing during a meeting in the summer of 1968 helped pay the hospital bill for our first child which we had without the benefit of insurance. It was encouraging to see their vitality.

Tonight, we had the third class for elders, deacons, and wives at Eddyville. As in previous sessions, we had perfect attendance and good participation. Yesterday, one of our elders, Randell O'Bryan, commended many people who had given good service. We started prayer and preparation for the special services September 2-5. Tim Alsup, who served well here, will be the preacher. We are looking forward to him and Arinne being back in Eddyville. I have heard good things about his ministry here. I am enjoying listening to him preach on tape while I shave in the moring.

The outline for tonight's class is below:

* * *

My Friend Jesus Understands Me When I Am Tired and Lonely
Lesson 3

A. Feeling rights.
1. I have a right to my feelings.
a. God made me with emotions.
b. He made me with the capacity to experience sadness, fear, and anger as well as joy and contentment.
2. I have a right to feel as I do toward other people.
a. These feelings should be contrasted with actions coming out of those feelings.
b. Jesus, Who did not sin, was able to feel compassion, grief, and anger as well as other emotions. Mark 1:41; Mark 3:5
3. I have a right to express my feelings.
a. Expression of feelings should be done openly, honestly, specifically, caringly, respectfully, and responsibly.
b. Feelings should also be expressed at the appropriate time, in the proper place, in adequate amounts, and toward the appropriate person.
4. I have a right and responsibility to listen and respond to the feelings of others.
a. One who truly listens to another, communicates:
(1) “I care about you.”
(2) “You are important and valuable as a person.”
(3) “You are not bad and terrible although you share your painful feelings with me.”
b. Careful and concerned listening is a way of practicing the Golden Rule. Matthew 7:12
5. I have a right to process or work through my feelings.
a. Often when one is expressing painful feelings such as grief or anger someone will say, “You shouldn’t feel that way.”
b. However, this contradicts clear Bible teaching. Ecclesiastes 3:4; Romans 12:15; Ephesians 4:26
c. To work through or put away feelings, these steps may be helpful: Ephesians 4:31
(1) A person must become aware of having particular feelings.
(2) An individual must correctly identify his feelings.
(3) An individual must analyze his feelings and their origin thoroughly.
(4) He needs to express the appropriate amount of feelings at an appropriate time, in the appropriate place, toward the correct person(s) or event.
(5) In working through feelings, a person must experience them - not just say feeling words; for example, crying until one is finished. (Many of these thoughts came from Managing Church Conflict, by James A. Jones.)
B. If this is true, Jesus understands me with all my feelings.

I. JESUS UNDERSTANDS ME WHEN I AM TIRED.
A. We can get weary in well doing. Galatians 6:9
B. Why do we get weary in well doing?
1. We have no hope; it seems nothing is being accomplished. Isaiah 55:10,11; 1 Corinthians 15:58
2. We may have a task that is too difficult. Acts 15:10
3. We may have more than we can do. Acts 6:1-4
C. Jesus promised those who followed Him rest. Matthew 11:28-30
D. He taught that principle to His disciples. Mark 6:30-32; Mark 6:45,46

II. JESUS UNDERSTANDS ME WHEN I AM LONELY.
A. What does it mean to feel lonely?
1. Does it always mean that there are no people around?
2. How can we feel connected with ourselves and others when we are alone?
B. What are some times when people are likely to feel lonely?
1. When was a time when you felt lonely?
2. Is it permissible to express your painful feelings, even to God? Psalm 77
C. Why can Jesus understand me when I am lonely? John 6:66; Matthew 26:56
D. Who will always be with me when I am obeying the Lord? Matthew 28:20
E. Who will be looking for me if I should stray away from the Lord? Luke 15:4-7

III. THE FACT THAT JESUS IS MY FRIEND CAN MOTIVATE ME TO SERVE OTHERS. John 15:13-15
A. What does the word friend mean to you?
B. What did you and I do to deserve and demand that Jesus be our friend, come to earth, and die for us? Romans 5:8,9
C. “God loves you whether you like it or not!”
D. In view of our lack of merit, and yet knowing that Christ did die for us, is our motivation grace or guilt?
1. Did Paul serve because he still was guilty or because Jesus had released him from his guilt?
a. How could he say that he was the hardest working apostle and not be bragging? 1 Corinthians 15:9,10
b. How did he see grace as an opportunity for service and an occasion for praise? 1 Timothy 1:12-17
2. Define grace in your own words.
3. How can this motivate us to be more effective servants, friends, and leaders?